it's 9 o'clock

i'm drunk
and i've been doing karaoke

making nice with the cashier
i stuff my face with zaro's popcorn
and browse dirty magazines

and think about my
asian/non-asian
wife/girlfriend

for the first time in a long time
everything is in balance

free ideas

a bald guy (ron howard) has his hair spontaneously regrow. the upside, fans/groupies, is outweighed by the doctors who study him, family issues and new found fans/groupies.

maybe he's a weather man who previously wore a bad toupee.

now go make a movie or book about this. don't forget to give credit!

i smell how steve buscemi looks

this photo represents one of the things i love about the mish mash of the city. yes, it's a dinosaur head on a children's horsey ride. plus it's chained to the wall, cause someone might steal it, and there's an ATM sign in the background.

finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel after being ill over the weekend. with all due respect to steve buscemi, one of my favorite actors, in my delerium and with my sense of smell out of whack, i made the above statement. i was coming down hard on myself again and just imagined the smell of cheap beer, stale sweat and failure emanating from me. i'm doing much better today. although, as kaa would say, i still have a pounding sinus.

i never really thought about what i would do in the future with my life. i never really planned past thirty. and to be 40...shiiit. sometimes, i wish i was that guy from fitness made simple though. he's aging well. his hair is grey, but i bet he pulls more leg in a week than i've had in a lifetime. it's that stance. it's all about the stance.

the soundtrack of my life
julian cope
leonard cohen
donovan

celebrity sightings (not to make a habit, cause i hardly know who anyone is anymore and i really don't look for people, but here it is...)
jonathan pryce

haack!!

came down with some sort of virus recently.

regardless, managed to trim my ear hair today.

my real estates are real...

tip of the hat to paintergirl for swiping her concept of naming posts after songs. if you can guess where this one is from you might win a prize.

actually the real point of that title is that i've gone commercial. i'm trying to get some money making ads, and maybe get some sort of kick back from all this.

spoiler alert: today's blog is a real downer, so feel free to skip down.
the real title of this should be 'fading...or tapped out'. yesterday i had it really bad. my mind was racing over thoughts of failure and having run out of time. some notes i took say things like 'feeling crushable, like a sheet of thin ice that's been shattered by a stone'. i was in the midst of creating ideas for promoting a brand i'm working on, and just felt uninspired. too tired, too ground down.

at times i feel overqualified for what i do, but when i don't get ideas, i feel really worthless. then i heard about the kid who made a million bucks in six months, and it put things in sharp relief. maybe it's chemical though, because i've been exceptionally tired and have had migraines everyday.

i'd like to end the blog on an up note and include links to some shows i've seen recently (boy, when i used to say that it was for shows like circle jerks and black flag). of course, i heartily recommend all of these:
egon schiele
aiga: 365
jonathan levine gallery, my favorite new discovery

no music lists, but here are some podcasts i've been listening to
pnsexplosion
the bitterest pill
the ricky gervais show
and of course, dawn and drew

fly, pigeon, fly

between our economic and neighborhood troubles, the wife and i are ready to chuck it. not sure what that would entail, but stay tuned. once we set our mind to something, it usually comes to pass. we're going to keep trying of course, but it's time for where we live to start giving back.

when we forked over our life savings for a house we could barely afford, i didn't expect it to be next to a(n alleged) whore/crack house. but that just shows what our life savings came to. now we're living with expenses cut to the bone and still not able to pay all our bills. i still have a student loan for cripes' sake.

but the thing that really got me thinking was a recent stabbing in the city, which was infamous for occurring near moby's tea shop. apparently people where just walking over the body and ordering lattes while this corpse was still there. i mean, as a sensitive artist type i could use some toughening up, but i don't want to become desensitizing to the suffering of others. this is too extreme and i don't want this to happen to me.

maybe it's time to stop playing the great american success dream and looks for the things that would give my life meaning. spending time with my family, improving as a person and expressing myself creatively. how hard can that be?


the soundtrack of my life
echo and the bunnymen
joy division
pink floyd (the awkward post syd, pre dark side period)

wet black trees

back again with a second posting. if i keep this up it might actually develop into something. not much time to go in depth with my mood–which is fairly stable today. just want to say that i am actually not really a depressive, i think i just get the blues sometimes. it can actualy be a comfort sometimes when i'm ready for it. other times i'm feeling fragile and it just guts me.

i hope to make this a forum dealing with my various complaints, whinging and wacked out beliefs.

stick around. won't you?

the soundtrack of my life
chopin nocturnes
the white album
donnie darko (donnie dark-o, do-onnie-don-dark...)
bill evans